Is cyber sex only for the desperate and lonely?

While many of those involved in the cyber sex world are both desperate and lonely, there are just as many who live fulfilling sex lives. Why would a married person have to turn to the internet for sex? This is the real world, and being such, the reasons for wanting to cyber differ immensely. Some people just enjoy the fantasy aspect of it. Others enjoy exploring sexual scenarios, which they know their partners would never allow, or which they would never dare to ask of them. Some people consider cybering a safe alternative to having an affair. Maybe there is some dissatisfaction with their sexual relationship with their partner, however they love them and don't want to jeopardize that relationship by having a real life affair with someone.

So where can you get lucky? The cyber world has many places people congregate. Chat rooms, Instant Messages, IRC chat, web cams, dating services, and of course, message boards (although not much can get accomplished there sexually).

Many people start their online sexual relationships through emails. Swapping erotic emails can also be stimulating, and fun. You can start out slow and swap useful information, which might prove advantageous in future IM's. For example, if you are into anal sex, this can be shared in your initial conversations. Later when you're partner begins to tell you how much he would like to invade your anal area, you won't be shocked. I find that if both partners are playing the same game, addressing what really turns them on, the sexual conversation becomes more meaningful.

"I met a complete stranger in a chat room. It was the first time I had ever experienced cyber sex and, I was a complete novice. So was he, so it worked out well for us. One night after we cybered, I sat down and wrote a short little sexy scene and emailed it to him. To my delight, he loved it and asked me to do it again."

“I prefer chat rooms usually in private chat, but I have done scenes in open room before, although they tend to be just BDSM stuff. It’s a great way to try out stuff and see how you feel about it before doing it in real life. I don’t touch myself during the session, unless I am with a [Dominatrix] I know and she orders me to do so, to tell her how I taste or something. I find it’s a great foreplay and I will usually do an intense cyber and then go and wank, thinking about what happened. If I'm lucky and I know the person it can sometimes round off with a bit of phone sex, just to bring it nicely to a close.”

"I think I prefer the IM's...I must admit, I've had cyber sex once or twice (ahem), and it's nice to have that instant feedback from the woman (god, I hope they're women) that you're with."

“Cyber sex is not necessarily a fulfilling sexual experience - it's a nice change from masturbation all alone, though. With the hopes that the person you're talking to actually represents herself correctly, talking her through masturbation can be very thrilling...the pride of a job well done. Not to make it sound so clinical, but when you don't currently have a partner offline, it's the next best thing.”